I've never been a new years resolution kind of girl. I am, however, a girl who can appreciate a fresh start. And what time better to get a fresh start than January 1?! The holidays are wonderful and magical and loads of sugary fun, but let's face it, CRAZY might be a better all encompassing word to describe it. Any semblance of a schedule or routine is thrown out the window a few days before Thanksgiving and in our house anyway, does not even begin to creep back in until school starts after the Christmas break. There is just too much shopping to be done, parties to attend, food to make/bake and then eat, presents to wrap, houses to decorate, then messes to clean up, new toys and gifts to organize, family to visit....I could go on and on. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. School starts in 4 days. Not that I'm so excited to get rid of the kids, but the start of school brings with it routine and normalcy. Ahhhh.... I can almost breath again.
Like I said, I do like a good fresh start. I wouldn't say my husband is a resolution kind of person either, but he is a goal setter. That's one thing I simultaneously like and dislike about my husband at the same time. He is always pushing er uh, encouraging me to be better, do better, do more, etc. There is no status quo. We've always got to be striving to be better people, better parents, better spouses, better Christians. Which is good. I know it is. It's just exhausting sometimes. I have a hard time keeping up. Sometimes I feel like I've got to a good place and I'm happy not moving for a bit. Not with Paul. I find that the times I feel content are the times when he is feeling like "go go go!" He's always reassessing our lives always wanting to set goals for our family. You go, hun.
I on the other hand am a little skeptical about setting hard and fast goals for myself. I'm a little pessimistic about actually being able to achieve any of these goals, so why set them. I don't want to set myself up for failure so it's best to just stay put, right? (hint of sarcasm here).
So, instead of setting goals, I'm going to set some plans. After all, plans are thwarted all the time, right? So it's no biggie if my "plans" don't work out, right? I plan to lose some weight before the summer time. I plan to exercise 4 days a week. I plan to blog more often (cause I know yall are always, "why doesn't Katie blog more? I LOVE reading her stuff!") I plan to read the Bible everyday. I plan to spend more quality time with my kids. I plan to be better organized with my time so that I can spend quality time with my kids. I plan for my husband and I to spend more quality time together. I plan to do a lot of stuff.
I know these don't sound like lofty plans but one thing I've learned about myself over the years is that if I am going to set any goals or make any plans, I need to set small, attainable ones. I can get discouraged easily. I'm also a cynic in some areas. I know this doesn't help in my aspirations but it's true. That cynicism that says "you might lose 5 lbs, but you'll gain it back. Just thank the fried foods and sauces you some times crave or Coke" , that cynicism is there and it's stubborn and won't go away.
But I do have plans. Maybe if I talk about my plans out loud more I'll be more apt to keep them. If I could just some how figure out a way to add just 2 more hours in a day then all this would be easy! Setting hard and fast goals would be a breeze.
I do realize as I reread through this before I publish it for all the world to see, that I sound like a wussy, little noncommitted, lazy waif who is just content to wallow in her extra pounds and messy house. NOT true. (cue the rocky music). I know I can do it!! right? YES I CAN! do you think? Sure! GO, Katie, GO, GO, Katie, GO!
All kidding aside, these plans I have for myself are not only plans, but prayer requests. I am confident that nothing I strive for can be achieved but for the grace of God. His plans are the only ones that really matter. That is a bit of a relief. I am glad it's not all up to me. I am a sinful human being who continues to fail time after time. I will disappoint. But He won't. Amen! He still loves me. That's my ultimate plan/goal; to love like Christ loves. If I can do that, what more could I ask for?
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