Another Year

In reading other blogs, it seems that most people began their blogging this year being all reflective on the past year with thoughts and resolutions on the new one. I guess I should say something too. Most people seem excited to move on past the old year and hurry on to 2010. I know for some of you who truly had a difficult and tragic year in 2009, the desire to move on and start fresh is very valid. But for most of us, it just seems that we are eager to move on excited to see what better things might be in store for us in 2010.

For me, starting a new year just means I'm one more year older. I'm at that age where my body is beginning to remind me daily that I ain't no spring chicken anymore. My knees hurt, I lay awake some nights because my body aches, my stomach is more sensitive than it used to be and with every passing day, I get closer and closer to having to give in and get glasses. I've always had a sort of , if you fall off the horse, get right back on kind of attitude. I guess I could translate that to a yearly sense. Whatever I didn't accomplish in 09, I can try again with gusto in 2010. With each passing year though and middle age fast approaching, I am beginning to feel a sense of defeat. I know, I know, I'm too young to feel this way, right? I've always thought of myself as young, but like I said before, my body is trying to convince me otherwise.

It's my kids too. They are growing up right before my very eyes! By the end of 2010, I'll have all 3 kids in some form of school, a first for me. Yes, you are right, I should rejoice in the new freedom I'll have at that point, and I know it'll be nice. And one day (hopefully before 2010 is over), there will be no more potty accidents, we'll be able to make it through a meal at a restaurant without me having to make 5 trips to the bathroom with various configurations of children, we'll have gotten through the terrible 2's.

I know I have nothing to complain about. God was truly merciful to us in 2009. Everyone is healthy, no major accidents, no job loss, families that love us. It's just that in the last few years, my sensation that time is the enemy has become intensified and there isn't one thing I can do about it. My youth is slipping away.

However in true, get back on the horse fashion, I'm not going down without a fight. I started some fitness classes this week (the first of which KILLED me, more of my body fighting me) and I started this blog. Despite my sadness over the passing year, I know in the end, this entire life is just temporary. There are MUCH better things than whatever my 20's, 30's, 40's, etc. had/have in store for me. One day, I will be new again, with the Father in Heaven. I guess I can rejoice that I am one step closer to the ultimate joy.